When I hear "wood" I think of simplicity, of what is natural. And I think of growth - of the wood of a tree, planted and slowly but surely stretching towards the sky and bearing foliage and fruit.
When I think of "silverware" I am reminded of the two things that surround my family's meal times and what our silverware are usually torn between - offering nourishment, and creating messiness. But I also think of togetherness - the way that meals bring people together, and offer an excuse to just sit and spend time reveling in family, friendship, community. I wonder if the gifts of wood and silverware are meant to signify the same things. Are they a symbol of the simple and natural love between peoples, of the ways in which a couple has or hopes to continue to grow over the past five years? Are they gifts of the nourishment and messiness that wrestle together in daily life because of our being with and loving some one? Of being together - for five years or a lifetime? I ask these questions, because I myself am celebrating an anniversary this week. A "wooden/silverware" anniversary.
This past weekend marked this blog's fifth anniversary. That's right, it was November 17th, 2008 when I put my first post on the internet for all the world to see. Wow, looking back! Since then this blog has served a few purposes - sharing photos (aka my "brag book"), sharing reflections (aka my "practice space" for being smart and author-like someday), and sharing happenings (aka my "memory box" for when I'm old and want to remember what it was like to be "young," or naive at least). My posting style has been inconsistent, my posts few and far between, and my grammar no doubt something for past writing instructors to cringe about. But I'm trying.
I'm trying because I am a simple woman, one who hasn't yet grasped Facebook or Twitter, yet is looking for a place to share my voice. I try because I am a seeker - seeking to understand the natural relationship between myself, the universe, those I share it with, and the One who created it all, and I am in need a way to process my explorations. I try because I know there is more to me than the me I know now, and I long for a space where I can look back some day and see (hopefully) how I have grown - as a writer, as a mother, wife, as a disciple, as me.
I try because I love writing, and though I'm still learning and have a long way to go, I am filled by the nourishment I receive from having a place to do it. I try because there is so much messiness in my days - in my motherhood, in my church, in my anxiety, in my mind and heart - that I desire a way to sort it all out, cut it apart and try to find the life-giving fruits (or tiny seeds at least) within it. I try because I want my husband to happen back upon a post someday and realize again how much I love him and why I married him, or my children to find my blog files on our out-dated computers someday far in the future and know that their Momma put her heart and soul into their happiness (even if she screwed up a lot along the way) and that our togetherness was the greatest thing that ever happened to her.
I try because I am little more than a hunk of wood,
slowly being whittled into something...something more, something hopefully unique and well-crafted. Because I am little more than a utensil, slowly trying to fill up places or moments of lack with those of abundance. I try because I am little more than a child of this universe; and yet, here in this blog space I am able to keep striving to see how grand that actually can be. How beautiful wood, shaped the right way, can be. How powerful a utensil, held by the right hands, can be. How beautiful a Child of the Universe, who keeps trying, can be. And so, I try. I try here on this blog. And I try in life.
So happy wooden anniversary to Child of the Universe! Happy silverware anniversary to me! Here's to five more years of inconsistent, few and far between posts of life's simplest and messiest, most natural and most nourishing, moments. Here's to making it to my "tin/aluminum" anniversary and all the growth and togetherness that will happen between now and then!
May we all be so lucky as to receive the gifts of wood and silverware in our lives. Or better yet, to give them. May we all keep trying!
- - - - - - - -
As I look back at my time blogging here, here are some of my favorite posts/reflections of the past five years (in no particular order):
* To the Woman I was Three Years Ago
* Why J is my favorite letter
* No Limits
* Holy Sponges
* Faith Like a Child
* Photographs (poem)
* Can I get your Boogers? (poem)
* Snow day (poem parody)
* Use Your Words
* Simple Laughter (Laffy Taffy)
* What's in a name?
* Blue Ribbon for Hoarding
* Birthday poems: Adrian & Lilly
*Advent Series: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4 & Christmas
(This was supposed to be a "Top Ten" list, but I never have been very decisive. I guess I will keep trying on that too!)
