Why J is my favorite letter, and what I'm doing to spice it up

It’s a family feud once a week – Saturday Clean Up Day.  My husband and I disagree on the idea.  He dislikes it.  I love it.  He doesn’t like it because he always had to do it growing up.  I like it because we always did it growing up.  He says it’s the weekend; time for a day off.  I say it’s the weekend; time to get something done.  He doesn’t want to have to do so much in just one day.  I want the feeling of productivity that comes from doing so much in just one day.  Aside from the on-going argument over cleaning with bleach (which he thinks smells bad) versus Lysol (which I think smells bad), Saturday Clean-Up Day is by far our biggest unresolved housekeeping issue.  And I think I’ve figured out the reason why – I’m a “J.” 

That’s right, I’m a “J.”  On the Meyer’s-Briggs personality type sorter, I’m almost certain they were writing my biography when they made the definition of a “J” personality type.  I fit it to a T! (or to a"J")  And more recently I was introduced to the StrengthsFinders inventory tool, on which I am an “achiever;” again, whoever wrote that strength's description was obviously looking at me (and my J-ness) when they did it.  And one of the main ways you can spot my “achieving J-ness” – my lists!  I make lists.  Lots of lists.  Lists of lists.  I write things on my lists even after I’ve already done them, just so I can cross them off.  Not only do I like order, but I like organizing my order.  The organization that comes from making the lists, and the immense sense of productivity that comes from crossing things off.  I don’t even like fully completing my lists, because then I’d have nothing left to do, nothing to cross off.  I need those things.  That is a big part of my “J-ness!” 

And it is for that reason that Saturdays used to be my favorite day of the week – not because I didn’t have to work, but because I finally had a day when I could work, getting nearly everything done!  And for that reason that now Saturdays are my most difficult days.  During the work week I have to be productive, my job depends on it, which means that my J-ness has an outlet.  But not on the weekends.  Those dreaded days meant for “just relaxing around the house” means nothing gets crossed off.   And between running after the kids constantly and Miguel not liking Saturday Clean Up Day, there isn’t much time for lists and crossing off.  I very seldom get lists for my weekends – I miss my lists.  And even if there was nothing to write on a list that needed to be done on the weekend, just not having the list in the first place makes me feel as though I’ve gotten nothing accomplished – I miss my productivity.  Yes, you see, I need Saturday Clean-Up Day so I can feel like I did something.  I need Saturday Clean-Up Days so I can feel like ME! 

With that said, I am taking a big leap this year.  I’m trying a different spin on my list-making.  I'm pushing myself outside my J-shaped-box a bit, challenging the lists status-quo, spicing things up.  It’s only been two months, but so far this has been my best (and possibly even longest kept) “New Year’s Resolution” yet.  What is it?  Instead of a “to-do list,” each morning I have been writing myself a “goals list.”  What’s the difference?  My goals list can NOT be things I HAVE to do that day; they can only be things that might be fun to do as a little extra.  They’re goofy; uplifting; sometimes necessary, but for my soul and/or relationships, as opposed to my job or house; they’re creative; they’re quirky. 

At various times in my professional training I’ve been taught the rules of doing S.M.A.R.T goal-setting (goals should be: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound).  But the rules for my goal lists this year look a bit different.  My goals can be vague; my goals don’t have to be measurable.  For example, “be positive” or “trust.”  My goals don’t have to be attainable, or even within my control at all.  For example, “sneeze two times in a row” (I did the next day, however) or “make someone say ‘wow’” (that’s a LOT harder than it sounds!  Although I did get a “Holy Crap” and an “Uffda” out of someone).  I can't write down goals that I've already done that day (this is one of the hardest parts for me).  I can have repeat goals, and I can move unfinished goals from one day to the next; but I can’t do either of these things regularly, or it becomes a routine, a “to-do,” instead of a fun goal.

Other examples of my goals so far have included: make someone laugh; sit in my comfy chair; tell Miguel I love him before he tells me; leave work by 4:26pm; smile at a stranger; don’t get mad; drink 3 bottles of water; learn something new; don’t speed; write to an old friend; sing a country song; eat something yummy; eat something healthy; do something nice for someone I don’t like; discover a good joke; take deep breaths; thank GOD hourly; dance with my kids; see Quirky (that’s another story for another time); and many more.

Sometimes I reach my goals, and I can then cross them off (exciting!).  And sometimes I don’t.  But that’s ok, because even when I can’t cross them off, I still get to cross off “make goals list” from my to-do list.  And more importantly, if I were to write it down, I could cross off “reflect on what might make a really good day,” or “think about what you need for yourself to enjoy life and truly be living this day.”  That’s what my new goals habit has helped me to do.  And although I didn’t have either of those things written on my to-do list today, I might just go write them down now so that I can cross them off (after I cross off “write blog about goals” of course).

PS. And for those of you wondering, don’t worry about my marriage.  Miguel and I have found a compromise for Saturday Clean-Up Day – he works many Saturday mornings, so I can attempt all the list-making and crossing-off I want for those few hours.  Ahh, bring on the bleach!