Bitter Sweet Memorial

Although we had a lot of fun on Halloween this year, it was also a very difficult day for me.  October 31st was also the day we lost our kittie.  Lexi had been my cat and companion for over 8 years when she died this week.  And as many pet owners out there surely know, pets often become more than just that - they become a part of your family.  And when they're gone, there is definitely something missing.  In my case, there is now a huge absence in our home, and a still painful hole in my heart! 

I do feel blessed, however, that although Lexi's last week and especially her last days with us was a struggle for her as she grew more and more sick, and for us as we watched helplessly, we were prepared for the fact that her time was drawing near.  And Halloween morning I had a looming sense that it may be our last with her, so I made sure to take time for some final pictures, hugs and kisses, and lots of "love you's" for our furry friend.  

But you don't get the same avenues of grieving and saying good-bye to your pets as you do people who you loved and lost, such as a funeral, photo displays or eulogy.  So I have chosen to make this my avenue for sharing all that Lexi meant to me, how much I loved our years together, and how very much she will be missed.  

Lexi, here are just a few of the oh-so-many things that I loved about you:

* The way you loved to sit in, yes IN, strange things - from your bed, boxes, to styrofoam cooler lids  
* The way you used to chase invisible things around the room, and the air; and even more-so how much fun it was when you'd chase real things like strings or twisties

* How you'd find the sunny spot on the floor or bed, and make yourself at home 
* How you figured out how to open the basement door yourself, and would spook me out in the middle of the night or morning when the door was standing wide open apparently by itself
* The way you'd always inch closer and closer while someone was doing sit-ups, until you were right under us (so it's your fault I still have a flabby tummy :D)
* How you would go nuts when the birds were at the feeder hanging in the baywindow 
* How you would sit and "watch" Adrian for me when he was first born, including letting me know if he was crying (as if I couldn't tell...but appreciated nonetheless :D) 
*  How you would "remind" me (but not Mike) that it was time to feed you (you had an incredible internal clock), and would come running from any corner of the house when you heard the sound of your food being opened or poured in your dish 
* The way you'd hide under the bed when there were strangers or extra people in our home 
* How you put up with me moving you to all kinds of homes - whether a temporary home for the weekend, or our various houses and apartments in our time together

* The way you'd just sit and stare-down the dog out the patio door, or sit in the baywindow to watch her or the people out in the yard
* The way you literally followed me around when I went through my miscarriage, especially if I was crying, including following me into the bathroom and sitting on my lap (I've always been bummed that you weren't ever much of a lap-kittie, but you sure came through for me in that dark period of my life)
* How you would "rough house" with Mike (I'm still not sure which of you  enjoyed that more)
* Even the way you'd "clean" my forehead sometimes if I slept in past your morning feeding time; and the way you'd almost always try to steal my pillow in the middle of the night when I'd get up with the kids (it was annoying, but it was you...and I love and miss that!) 
* The little wisps of furr on the ends of your 'boots' 
* How you served as a conversation buffer between Mike and I when we were first dating (we may owe our marriage and family to you :D) 
* How I used to say good-bye every morning when I left for work 
* How you would try to escape through the patio door (or in our first apartment through the hallway) every now and then
* The sound of your collar tags jingling as you'd run or play
* How we shared a love of napping! :)  
* The way you hated car rides, and for some reason especially hated the turns 
* The way you left me a 'present' those few times when I used to bring you home to stay at Mom and Dad's with me 
*  How much you loved to eat marinara and pizza sauce, and fruit juice, and eggs - not that I can blame you, I like those things too, I just never knew another kittie who did so much
* The way you would wait under the table like a dog for Adrian to drop bits of his food

* How you were like a combination of my roommate, friend, sister and child for those years when we were together before Mike and the kiddos came along
*  How much my kids LOVE you (even when they weren't always nice to you), and the fact that you'd put up with them (even when we knew you didn't want to)
* How you'd drink out of the bathtub when your kidneys started having problems; and how you stuck with us after the first time you got really sick because I begged you to please hold on long enough to meet the baby...and how you hung on long enough to meet both Adrian and Lilly (who loved you so much)!
* How soft and pretty you were 
* How silly and feisty you were 
* How sweet you were 
* How you were a true and wonderful and loved part of my life and of our family! 

Rest in peace Lexi Kittie, and know that you were always loved and will always be missed!