The Presentation: a Prayer for Parents

They're young yet, but ever since they were really young, my husband and I have enjoyed thinking about our kids’ futures.  Those late night conversations where we speculate about what they will be like as they grow up.  The sensitive guy in the corner of the library.  The spunky girl in the middle of the party.  The determined gal leading the mountain-climbing expedition.  And What they will be.  The engineer.  The elementary school zoo field trip tour guide.  The senator.  What does the future hold for these unique little personalities we watch unfold?  Creativity.  Friendship.  Adventure. 

But no matter what I envision our children’s futures to look like, or what I hope they might hold, I am continuously left with the reality that it is all out of my control.  And I am faced with the realization that it may not all be beautiful. 

Yesterday was the Feast of the Presentation of Our Lord.  The day in which we recalled how Mary and Joseph took their new child to the Temple to entrust him to GOD, where Simeon and Anna proclaimed his destiny (Luke 2:22-40).  And as an extension of that destiny, also proclaimed Mary’s: “and you yourself a sword will pierce.” 

A mother’s nightmare, to hear about the challenges ahead for her child.  The prayed-against truth of the heartbreak she will suffer as she watches her child’s fate unfold.  Every parent’s worst fear – an un-easy road ahead for the little life they love so much. Nothing pierces my heart more. 

And yet this is the reality for many parents in our world.  Those fleeing danger, those separated from their children, those pierced by violence.  Those still longing (aching) to be parents, those facing complications for their unborn child, those pierced by the loss of a life they had only begun to know.  Those living in poverty, those living on the fringes, those pierced with the harsh realities of want.  Those facing disabilities, those facing serious illness, those pierced by the knowledge that their child’s dreams of being a fireman or a ballerina may not come true. Those facing bullies, those facing being cut from the team, those pierced by the look of sadness and disappointment on their child's face. 

In all corners of the globe (and corners of our communities) there are parents who live daily with the reality that their child’s future may not be all beautiful.  And though it differs in severity, all of us parents face the truth that our children’s future will have challenges, and that both the struggle and the triumphs of whatever is in store for them is out of our control.  No late night conversation between spouses filled with hopes and dreams and wonder and laughter at our little ones’ days to come has the ultimate say on our child’s destiny.  They may be destined for great and glorious things.  They may be destined for pain and struggle.  They may be destined for both, sometimes inseparably.  We are not Simeon or Anna; we do not know. 

We can only ask that The One Who Does Know Their Destiny will help us trust and pray.  

And though I know it is out of my control, that doesn't stop me from dreaming that my children's future may look something like this: “The child grew and became strong, filled with wisdom; and the favor of God was upon [them]”  (Luke 2:40).  

* * * * * * 

A Parent's Prayer on this Feast of the Presentation:

Heavenly Father,

on this Feast of the Presentation of our Lord,

I recall the gift Mary and Joseph gave to the world by offering baby Jesus to You in the temple.

I offer up to You all the children in my family.

I place them into Your perfect will and I turn their futures over to You.

Help me to let go of my ideas of what they should do in their lives,

and show me how to guide them into the purposes for which You created them.

Help me to learn from the example of the Blessed Mother, whose heart was pierced by the sword of her Son's pain,

how to always trust in Your plans.

Holy Family, pray for us.

Amen.

(Anonymous) 

Groundhog Day, Every Day

Happy Groundhog Day!  That day when we send a furry little critter out into the cold world to decide the future; when we allow the shadows to determine what our next several weeks will hold for us.  Ah yes, a sacred day to be celebrated if ever there was one!  (insert sarcasm here) 

When I hear Groundhog Day, I always think of the 1993 movie with Bill Murray and Andie MacDowell, where Bill Murray’s character gets stuck in a day that keeps repeating itself over and over again.  But each time he wakes up to the same day again, he has the chance to change pieces of the way the day happens, and slowly things are made better, including himself and his relationships.  How nice it would be at times to have the chance to re-live a day and try to make it better!  And yet, in many ways, every day gives us that opportunity.  Enter Groundhog Day…

* * * * * *

I just returned from Washington, D.C., where I was attending the Catholic Social Ministry Gathering.  It was a fantastic conference!  But it was also a challenging one.  In addition to great speakers and the gathering of wonderful people who share a passion for service and justice stemming from our Catholic faith, the conference also included a number of workshops on very concrete, real issues today—gun violence, racial discrimination, wage theft, climate change, criminal justice reform, poverty, countries at war, etc.  These were hard, often depressing workshops!  At times I found myself in tears; at times found myself asking “why?” as the only prayer I could think of in the midst of the overwhelming realities being discussed.  There were moments of feeling completely helpless at the number and the severity of issues facing so many in our world today. 

Yet my favorite part of the conference was how it didn’t stop with just discussing the issues; it offered participants a chance to do something about them! 

The conference was extra powerful for me because of its location in a setting marked by historical justice-seekers—those leaders of the past who have witnessed to how hope and action together can make a difference.   

Despite the “Blizzard of 2016” on the east coast, I was able to trek out (in true brave, or crazy, Minnesota fashion) and see many of the monuments around the National Mall – Lincoln Memorial, Martin Luther King, FDR, Thomas Jefferson.  Each one, along with their striking sculptures and design also includes quotes from those they memorialize; wise and poignant thoughts from people who have striven for peace in their day and challenging settings.  Though each time in history was a different situation, they all had similar needs of unity, peace, welfare and compassion for all in the midst of some cold and ugly realities and issues facing so many. 

And like some of my workshops, visiting these monuments found me at times in tears.  So many times in our history, so many who have gone before us seeking so many of the same goals of peace and justice, and yet still so much hurt and hate remains.  Is history just caught in a cycle of evil, repeating itself over and over again?  How do we break that cycle?  Will things ever truly get better? 

But each player remembered along that National Mall was given the chance to live and lead in a way that could put things right, make things better.  Obviously they couldn’t fix it all, that kind of healing can’t be done overnight.  But each did something.  And perhaps above even what they did in their own day in history, these justice-seekers also affected the future by letting it be known in their hearts and in their world (and in the walls around their monuments) that a sense of futility, no matter what the situation, is simply not acceptable.  As the prophets of old, and the prophets of our more recent history, have shown us: there is always hope.  We can, we must, strive for something different – something better! 

I also visited the Holocaust Memorial Museum (on International Holocaust Remembrance Day no less).  Again, I found myself in tears; again, a feeling of helplessness, with that prayer of “why?” ringing through my head and heart.  Yet it was a powerful museum not only in the sad reality it shared, but in the hope it pushes us towards.  An entire floor of the (four-floor) exhibit is focused not on the past, but on the future—encouraging all to recognize the needs, the discriminations, the unjust powers, of our fellow humans in the world still today, and to take action!  The slogan “Never again” has been said after the atrocities of the Holocaust, urging us to ensure that such inhumane evil isn’t allowed to happen again.  And yet, sadly, it has happened again (and some would argue is right now).  But there are things we can do – hopeful, helpful things. 

Like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, we can use each day to attempt to make things in the world around us better: 

* Acknowledge past genocides (Native Americans, the Holocaust, Rwanda)
* Recognize current realities of equal horror (Syria, Central African Republic, South Sudan, Immigrants and Refugees and races and religions facing discrimination here in the U.S.)
* Take steps to end them (welcome the stranger, disseminate truth rather than false propaganda, participate in Catholic Relief Services, encourage government to work for peace not arms, and poverty reduction domestically and globally) 
* Live your life for others, not just yourself (and for those who are “other,” not just our own immediate “bubbles”) 

As Franklin D. Roosevelt said at the time of World War II and the Holocaust, “More than an end to war, we want an end to the beginnings of all wars.”  Let us work for an end once and for all, to the war on poverty, the war for life and dignity, the war of nations and of ideal-isms.  History is marked by people who have tried.  Each new time period like a new day, with those making changes for an end to the cycles of suffering, striving for a better day to come.  Now it’s our turn! 

* * * * * *

Every day can be our “groundhog day.”  We are given the chance with every new day to break the negative cycles and situations, and bring hope for a new day tomorrow.  Unlike Bill Murray, let us not repeat horrible situations, and unlike the furry little critter himself, let us not crawl back into our holes out of fear of the shadows.  In the words so clearly etched in the walls of the Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial remind us: “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” 

Today (every day) is Groundhog Day.  A day which holds the power to affect the future.  We live in a cold world with many cold, harsh realities; we can either enter it with hope, determined not to shrink away from the shadows, or we can burrow back in and allow the cold to continue.  Either way, we have the power to determine the future.  It is my prayer that our actions would work to stop the negative cycles of history, and bring about a new “day” of hope and life for our world! 

Ah yes, it is a sacred day to be celebrated!  (no sarcasm intended)